Am I too soft on
everyone? Or is everyone else too tough on me?
Time after time, I'm
let down by so-called friends. I have no problem being let down if
I'm given notice, or at least if people have the decency to tell me
at some point over the next 5 years why they flaked on plans.
Problem is, so many
don't even have the decency to do that. Maybe I expect too much.
Maybe it's my own fault for being too soft on them by letting them
get away with it. I am going to give examples here, but I won't name
names. I'll put money on the feedback being from the friends who have
done no wrong, while those who aren't decent will just carry on with
ignorance.
My birthday in 2012 was
a classic example. I hadn't invited many, I just wanted a dozen or
six people round to celebrate my birthday. A dozen or six said they'd
be there. Even confirmed it when I asked them in the lead up to the
day itself.
Two people showed up.
My best mate and someone I'd never met in person before. By all
means, it meant we each had longer playing the eggbox. But what
happened to the other ten or four people?
Well to be honest, I
still have no idea with most of them. Why? Because most of them
didn't just fail to show, they failed to tell me. Before, during or
after. People are shit right? Right!
To be fair, since then,
I've not given many the chance to explain why they had been such
dicks. I've tipped them the fuck out of the door (metaphorically of
course). I have nothing more to do with them. I feel I'm better off
without them anyway.
Two of those who didn't
show, really pissed me off. A couple of years prior, I walked 17
miles in a single day, just so I could spend some time with them.
That day, after arranging with one of them to spend the day with her,
as I arrived after the 6 mile walk from my house, she was just
fucking off to Alton Towers for the day.
Did she inform me? Did
she buggery.
Like I've said, maybe I
was too soft in previous plan flaking situations. Thing is, recently,
I decided to do the same to others. A bit of revenge, an experiment.
Of course, the outcome was inevitable.
The person I flaked on,
kicked off big time. Considering all I'd done for the lass over the
past 8 years, it was an overreaction to one single flaking.
So why can friend,
after friend, after friend do it to me and get away with it? Yet I do
it once and it's all out World War 3.
As a sufferer of mental
health problems, lack of motivation and fear of public situations
means I have at least some excuses for not showing up to things. I
still have the decency to inform people though, usually as early as
possible. The bigger the plans, the earlier I try to inform them. Am
I repaid with the same thing? No, not even a little bit.
I've finished my
experiment now. I have gone back to informing people when I'm
cancelling on plans. I've learned though, that to surround myself
with decent friends, I need to get rid of the not so decent ones.
Some of you may have
noticed an unfollow on Twitter, or an unfriending on Facebook. This
is how I get rid of the deadwood from my life. Those who have no
indirect access to me, have no direct access to me either.
I really would prefer
to have a handful of decent friends, as supposed to a bevy of shit
friends.
Despite my mental
health problems, I'm very easy to be friends with. Not as easy as it
was a year ago though. I'm through with taking shit. I don't have
high standards when it comes to friendship. All I ask is for a little
bit of decency.
A word of warning
though;
No more free computer
repairs. No more dropping my own life to help you. No more one sided
friendships. If you want me to be there for you, you damn well better
be prepared to be there for me. What's annoying is that that should
go without saying. I once dropped my own recovery for a girl I was in
love with. Made me very ill, in fact. As soon as my usefulness
expired, I was cast aside like a soggy tissue.
No more
That is all
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