I thought I'd give those who have been
reading my story a little treat. I'll have a quick run down and
summary of the effects of my condition in both stages, the lows and
the highs.
There are two stages of the illness
Cyclothymia. The dysthymic stage (the bad) and the eurphoric stage
(the not so bad).
Symptoms of the dysthymic phase
include;
- Difficulty making decisions,
- Problems concentrating,
- Poor memory recall,
- Guilt,
- Self-criticism,
- Low self-esteem,
- Pessimism,
- Self-destructive thinking,
- Continuously feeling sad,
- Apathy,
- Hopelessness,
- Helplessness,
- Irritability,
- Quick temper,
- Poor judgement,
- Lack of motivation,
- Social withdrawal,
- Appetite change,
- Lack of sexual desire,
- Self-neglect,
- Fatigue,
- Insomnia
I have suffered from all of these
symptoms during my low periods and more often that not, all at the
same time. Having all of these running through your head at the same
time starts to affect you physically aswell. Your blood pressure
rises, heartbeat quickens or becomes irregular, muscles and joints
start to weaken due to inactivity.
With depression, you know where you
are, if that's all you suffer from. It's a constant low mood and
doesn't quite mess with your head as much. Not that I'm downplaying
depression, it's a horrible illness within itself.
What makes cyclothymia, and indeed
bi-polar that little bit more difficult is that you have to suffer
the rises and falls in your mood, which for the most part, aren't
controllable.
Symptoms of the euphoric phase include;
- Unusually good mood or cheerfulness (euphoria),
- Extreme optimism,
- Inflated self-esteem,
- Rapid speech,
- Racing thoughts,
- Aggressive or hostile behaviour,
- Being inconsiderate of others,
- Agitation,
- Massively increased physical activity,
- Risky behaviour,
- Spending sprees,
- Increased drive to perform or achieve goals,
- Increased sexual drive,
- Decreased need for sleep,
- Tendency to be easily distracted,
- Inability to concentrate
Again, I've had all of these symptoms
and again, quite often all at the same time. I'd go from one extreme
to the other. High to Low. There was no normal for me, I'd never be
anywhere between the two. Always one or the other. It's a vicious
circle that when left untreated, like mine was for many years, can
completely destroy you and may in fact, eventually kill you, even if
indirectly.
Words cannot express how all of these
feelings coming out together can make a person feel. As with most
illnesses, only the sufferer can come close to comprehending how
painful it is. Just like sick animals, we can't tell you where it
hurts.
If you have shown similar symptoms,
don't be afraid, don't hide it, talk to someone. Ask your GP for
help, but don't give up until you get it. If one doctor says no, ask
another one. If you're sure there is an issue, make sure the
professionals who are there to help you find out.
If it's someone you know showing these
symptoms....well, you have to tread carefully. But if you do care
about them, you have to help them. Approach them with a list of
symptoms they have been showing. Suggest they talk to a doctor about
it, offer to go with them, offer to take them there, but don't put
undue pressure on them, that may make them turn and run. You will
have to be patient, it's not going to disappear overnight, even if
they do get the help.
There is a fine line between offering
them help, enough to actually get them to seek it and pressuring them
to get it. You have to find the level ground and stick with it.
You say in the last two paragraphs about how to help somebody. Its you, and you alone, who helped me get all the help I did this last year. You got me to go to my GP after all my arguing about how I didn't want medication. Made sure I went to appointments and made sure I was taking my meds. You didn't pressure, you did everything exactly the way you should've. You pushed me enough that I got off my arse and did something, yet didn't push me too hard that I shut myself down and made sure I did nothing. That was a hard level ground to find.
ReplyDeleteYou know I hate writing this stuff right?
But anyway, you got me through all the things that've happened this year even without talking about most of it. Everything that's been thrown my way I've been able to rant to you a little and you know exactly how to make me feel better. Usually by not talking about it but still.
I hope in some way I've helped you. At least I can say i know I haven't made you worse ... I hope!
But if you've helped me so much I'm sure you can keep helping others. I know you can. Just have to see when someone else wants/needs your help.